"Did you realize that you carry a lot of your story in your eyes?"
...a friend ask me the other day. Growing up, I've always heard sayings like 'our eyes are our windows to the soul'; but it had never really meant much more than a passing thought. Now, here I sat shell shocked as I searched for an answer I didn't have. My initial reaction was to grab the nearest shades I could find - quick! - and snatch the brim of my beanie as low as possible. (How often is this our reaction in life!?) Immediately I felt a myriad of emotions - brokenness, embarrassment, fear, panic, overwhelming fatigue, not to mention growing hanger - welling up inside. My final response met the moment with a quiet release of tears. Although the entire exchange lasted maybe less than 25 seconds before we were on the next topic, the question sticks with me still. I replayed my subconscious responses, over & over in my head on the ride home. Thoughts like "I see what you did there...but you will not read THIS book today!" or "Oh no, I sure hope you don't start judge THIS book by its cover". All of this stemmed from one conversation with a friend. Looking back on that moment, I now wonder - why was that my reaction?
I have a significant story to tell. We all do. So, what's the issue with someone recognizing that? Truth be told, I realized I was afraid that if anyone were able to see my story (as is) right now, they would fall right into a chapter I wasn't ready to share. In this moment, I realized that it wasn't so much the question that troubled me - but my response.
Don't you know your story matters?
We are all happy, sad, angry, confused and home to a host of many other feelings at any given moment - all of which are an intricate detail in our life's story. We are HUMAN...and because we are WOMAN - we're plugged directly into our feels. It's how we're designed. Often it's because of our gender that our EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is often downplayed - or mocked - and we either over- (or if you're anything like me) under-react. No matter who you are, we face both terrific and tragic times in our quest to conquer the day. We meet one another on any end of this spectrum in our daily interactions. Yet many of us have mastered the art of hiding behind the veil, the mask and the shade of 'keeping it cute'. For me, that falls under business and busyness. For you it could be the kids, your boo or other forms of diverting others from recognizing the real you.
In an ideal situation, we all want for someone to meet us at Chapter 1 and see the good or pretty parts first. In reality, life isn't about meeting people where we think they should; it's about accepting one another where we are. Each opportunity calls us to pen something new into our saga. This chapter I'm in right now is kind of a mess. But not every chapter of my story has a dark cloud over it. There's glitter, sunshine and stars intertwined within the fire that fuels my soul and floods of #pretty@$$tears. To appreciate the entire essence of me, I'm learning not to hide or mask any part. What good is the tale if you don't get to enjoy all of it? If you're at a place like I was where you aren't happy with what you see right now, ask yourself - are you willing to change the way you look at your world to rewrite your script?